Back in Prov

So I drove up to Providence on Wednesday, in a car without a stereo or air conditioning. I was pretty high on caffeine from my grande ice coffee from Starbucks, and so I wrote a lot of pretty decent ideas on the ride up. Like an idiot, I typed them into my laptop on the interstate so i wouldn't forget them. This is a typical example of how the economic cost-benefit analysis isn't used in real life situations. So I got a few good ideas, and I am really excited for this year, when I get to use all these ideas that will go over well in a college crowd. I just need to keep writing so that I have new material in every show I do.

In awesome-related news, I am going to New York City on the 15th of Sep. to see Patton Oswalt, David Cross, Fred Armisen, Brian Posehn, and Jon Benjamin perform on the Comedians of Comedy tour. Then I will be driving/taking the train back to Providence the next day to see Patton, Brian, and Eugene Mirman perform at Lupo's (for free). I am a comedy nerd/obsessive idiot, but I already had the Providence ticket, and David Cross and Fred Armisen are way too good to miss. I may not be driving, since I need to get my car fixed again,
but the bus is probably cheaper than the gas/tolls I will have to pay by driving.

Alright, have a good beginning of the schoolyear, I will probably update when I know when my next show will be.

Dinner

My family went out for dinner tonight to wish Lillian a good college expedition. At dinner, I came up with a great tile for an album:
Songs in the Key of Fart
My brothers and I proceeded to come up with many other great album title ideas:
Hard Day's Fart
Dark Side of the Fart
Pet Farts
Nevermind the Bollocks, Here's the Fart
The Fart Album
The Miseducation of Lauryn Fart
Fart (self-titled)
Fart: Music from and Inspired by the Motion Picture
and finally,
Fart: The Original Broadway Cast Recording

Let me know if you plan to use any of these, I'd love a shoutout in the liner notes.

Back at Home

So my Thursday show was full of superfun. Katie Reiznor (roar!) came to watch me, and Andrea and Jill dropped by, even though they missed my set. Andrea would have liked my material more this time around though, since I talked a lot less about internet porn. I decided that those jokes were too easy, especially the Paris Hilton one. I mean, really. I can't possibly get more hack than that. I could maybe retool the Scott Stapp one, but it would need an overhaul.

Anyway, I went on right at the end of the show, but the audience was still pretty active. This was the first time my hand didn't shake violently when holding the mic, so that was good. I even began to feel a bit comfortable onstage, which was very exciting. My exclamation bit didn't work, since most people didn't get what I was referring to, but I think it will still go over very well in a younger crowd. My joke about Asian friends got that great slow-burn laugh, where you chuckle a bit and then think about it a bit more and laugh louder and louder until you make Kent feel like a Nordic deity. It's nice when a joke I just wrote is good enough to perform again without revision.

I talked to the videographer, so I am getting a DVD of the show sent to me sometime soon. I will promptly post it here so you can see me actually not suck. Maybe someday I can put up my video of sucking it up in front of all my friends with bad jokes. Not this year, though.

On a side note, I have decided that I want to have a more inventive, less booze-filled year this year, based on the guiding principle of the New Sincerity. I will explain in a later post.

Oh my God

Tonight was amazing. Someday I will have video of it, and I will also show you my second show where I bombed, so you can see how funny/not funny I can be. More details tomorrow.

May I ask a favor?

If you read this blog ever, could you post in here just telling me that you exist and that you read it? I just realized I have no idea who reads this, and I would love to know, even if you dont really know me and found it on the facebook.

So just say "Hey Kent, it's _____, you suck"

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I have my last DC set tomorrow. I am frankly a little sad that I have to leave this scene, which is definitely a lot of fun and full of some great comedians. I have definitely seen some hacks at the open mics, but I have seen a surprising amount of original voices out there. I certainly hope the Boston scene is as fun and non-competitive as the DC scene appears to be. I get the feeling the Comedy Studio is going to be a haven of original comedy in a sea of hack, but maybe I’m just being pessimistic. Anyway, thanks a lot DC, you gave me the confidence to keep trucking with this insane pipe dream for just a bit longer.

I am going to do the “Make a difference” joke tomorrow because Billy told me he liked it. I don’t know how well it will go over, but it’s really short, so it won’t be a set killer (like my St. Patrick’s Day joke was at Dremo’s). I am also trying out a couple of new jokes about racism, cause I’m an edgy motherfucker and I don’t pull any punches. Hey, you’re all thinking it, I’m just the only one with the balls to say it! I hope that by the end of the semester at Brown my press kit will include numerous comparisons to Carlos Mencia and Martin Lawrence from reputable newspapers.

Oh, I have a great opening line for a bit about mustache chicken: “So I grew a mustache, just to show that I’m not fucking around anymore.” I don’t know why, but I think that’s hilarious, like I haven’t been getting the respect I feel I deserve, so I grew a mustache. I don’t have a bit about mustache chicken yet, but this opening line makes me want to write one. Maybe I can do it about how 50-year-old construction guys in Providence would give me looks like “See, I kept this baby through the 90s, and now all the kids are flossin’ the stache again! I knew it would come back!” That was my favorite part about my game with Matt, the approving nods from cops and plumbers.

I think a funny name for someone would be Tom Pans. It’s also fun to exclaim “Fart Time!” within 5 minutes of meeting someone. Of course, you must fart loudly or the joke doesn’t work. These comedy lessons are free of charge, for now.

Ok, back to work on my second-to-last day.

A Joke

This is a joke I like, but I don't know why. I also am afraid to try it out at a show. Maybe if I threw it in after a successful joke, it could piggyback on some of that momentum.

It's really important to me that I make a difference in someone else's life, so I started stealing my neighbor's mail.

Oh well, they can't all be winners.

Quote of the Day

Form Andrea, my girlfriend, about her birthday dilemma:

i am not happy with this whole gift thing. you only like technology, cheese and beer. you suck.
officially.

I am working on a bit about how I diverted potential muggers by talking very loudly to myself while walking the sketchy streets of DC. David Greis will probably know what angry things I am yelling to myself. I don't know if it works as a bit, but it's very funny as a story to my friends, so hopefully I can come up with some good punchlines and tags to spice it up.

I'm a drunk idiot

And nobody should be my friend.

I'm sorry everyone, I won't get that drunk again. Silly me.