Nerdiest jokes ever.

The first one is funny, the second is just unbearably nerdy. I know it's not about my comedy specifically, but I just had to share.

A dairy company wishes to up milk production hires a chemist, an engineer, and a physicist to each come up with plans. After six months a meeting is held where the results of their individual researches are to be presented to the company's board of directors.

The chemist presents his results. He has come up with a feed additive that results in both a 6% increase in milk output as well as milk that lasts 8% longer before spoilage.

Next the engineer presents his design modifications of the milking machine, which can milk cows at a 7% higher rate than previous designs, and also reduces teat chafing, leading to less agitated, and hence more productive cows.

Lastly, the physicist wheels in a large blank chalkboard, upon which he draws a large circle and says:

"Assume a spherical cow . . ."

And here's the terrible one:

So all these polynomials are hanging out at this bar, and in walks this differentiator. he goes up to the bar and demands a free drink. the bartender refuses. the differentiator goes to work and differentiates the bartender into oblivion!

then he goes up to some patrons and demands to have their wallets. they refuse! BOOM he differentiates them into nothing!

he then approaches this lonely guy in the corner and demands his wallet. the guy says "ha, i'm e^x, i'm not afraid of you!"

the differentiator says, "you should be, i'm d/dy!"